WANTED: TYRONE PINES- But who cares?
by The Cowardly Christian
Summary: "We make our own monsters, then fear them for what they show us about ourselves."- Mike Carey & Peter Gross' ...Well I don't know about that, but releasing calamities and monsters upon your world can't be much better...even if it was to save your family.Tyrone Pines becomes the most hated man on earth to keep his loved ones safe. So now he must send his beloved children away...
1. Chapter 1

**WANTED: TYRONE PINES- But who cares?**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...

 **ANNOUNCEMENT!**

 **I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

 **SUMMARY:**  
 **On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

 **The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.**

...

...Deep within the Bavarian mountains...

..And mad king Ludvig would invite guests into Castle Linderhoff where they would fall victim to dozens of his lethal traps." Explains the guide as the archeological group walks through the ancient castle.

"Rude." Snarked a university student.

Jackie Chan- the team leader -chuckled, "That's why his name wasn't 'lovable king ludvig' or 'beloved neighborly king of Bavaria'."

Suddenly Jackie stopped the group in it's path, "Stand back." He instructs, he then points out a tripwire with a special spray bottle.

The university just shrugs, "Ah, come on. What are the odds theses traps still wor- Jackie stops him in his tracks, plucks his hat off his head and drops it on the tripwire-

 **CRUNCH!**

The trap snapped shut and flattened the hat. He then gives the hat back to the startled student. They walk on until Jackie uses a skull statue to find a hidden latch to open a secret door.

Once lit, the torches illuminated a vast treasure room. "Ludvigs' lost treasure." Said the guide amazed.

Jackie nodded, "The treasure is probably booby-trapped, So it's important we don't-

The university Student yanks out a golden pole.

-Touch anything." Finishes an exasperated Jackie. The room starts to shake and the entrance begins to close, Jackie uses a spear to keep the door open to allow the others to get through...but it snaps and closes before he can get through...

Suddenly multiple arrows start to shoot at him! "BAD DAY!BAD DAY! BAD DAY! BAD DAY!BAD DAY!BAD DAY!BAD DAY!BAD DAY!BAD DAY!BAD DAY! BAD DAY! BAD DAY!BAD DAY!BAD DAY!BAD DAY!BAD DAY!" Shouts Jackie as he dodges them all.

Jackie grabs a shield to deflect them all, he then jumps through a nearby hole on the ceiling, he then slides on the shield through the small tunnel, out of the castle and down the mountain back to the group...

Jackie Chan, master archeologist/martial artist/reluctant hero. In many universes he would go on to be a great hero, saving the world from many dangers and keeping the darkness at bay...

Jackie sighs as he turns to the group, "Snowboarding works a lot better with sn-

"Forgive me."

 **BANG!**

-This was not that universe...

Jackie Chan looked down shocked at the large hole in his stomach...right before he keeled over...dead to the world...

The group screamed as the strange gunman walked over, grabbed the shield and walked away without a word.

...many weeks later...

The man hands all 12 Talismans over to Valmont, "You have yet to explain why your doing this or what your reward should be." Asked Valmont.

"I want nothing from you, my 'reward'...will be given by someone else." Without a word...he leaves the Dark Hands lair...

...

 **CHINA DESTROYED!**

 **ARMY OF DRAGONS KILLS ENTIRE POPULATION!**

With a heavy yet resolute heart, the stranger throws the newspaper carrying the grim headline into a waste basket... He then wander through Tibet...to a certain hidden chamber...where a certain Box lies...

...

The weary man uses the Pan'ku Box to open the first demon portal at An island in Tokyo Bay, Japan. "Well...this is unexpected." Said the Demon sorceress Po Kong. She turns to the human she apparently owed her freedom to. "So...what do I owe you handsome?" She asked with a smirk.

"My 'pay' is already arranged...Tell your siblings to expect me soon."

He then zaps the fading demon portal with an odd stone, destroying it permanently so she couldn't be banished back and then leaves...

... Hollowlands Prison, in Colorado's Black Forest...

It was much easier to break into the prison then you'd expect, the recent calamities in the Orient had caused the various world governments to divert funds and resources from all non-military and non-research projects, including a strictly domestic criminal prison...besides, no one ever expected people to break IN to a prison...

And Xiao Fung's rampage was all the distraction the stranger needed to slip back out of the prison and into the night undetected...

...Megagalactic Studios in Hollywood, California...

"I'm firing the special effects division!" Shouts Larry Franklin as Tchang Zu lays waste to his studio, his trailer, his mansion...and his car!

He then turns toward the stranger, "You'll never work in this town again!" He shouts angrily.

"Good." States the stranger as he walks off into the sunset...Hollywood burning to the ground around him...

...the moon...

The stranger sighed as he pointed Tso Lan toward the lunar surface, "Go nuts." He said in a weary, defeated tone...

...The countryside of Pamplona, Spain...

The stranger was forced to use a boat to get to the portal location as most of the countryside was now flooded thanks to the missing moon now causing the tides to go all screwy...

The stranger silently hoped that Dai Gui would drown...so naturally he did NOT...story of his life...

...Fenway Park, Boston...

It was easy to sneak into the stadium...there were no more games...not since marshal law was declared...not that it would've mattered, everyone was too busy hunkering in bunkers or refuge camps to even think about Baseball anymore...

Hsi Wu came out of the girls bathroom... So many jokes went through the strangers head...but he just kept silent...he was in no mood for laughter...

...?...

An infant pink filly started to cry...

...Roman Coliseum...

"My...(sigh) 'employer' wants me to inform you that your empire of Atlantis is now nothing but rubble...he asks me to recommend using the San Fransisco fault line to build a new kingdom...here's a map."

The demoness chuckled, "Thank you kindly..."

...several universe over...

"AT LAST! I HAVE ALL 12-

 **YOINK!**

Shouts a disembodied voice as it opens a inter-dimensional portal and snatches all the alternate talismans from an alternate Shendu...who then curses up a storm...

...?...

"So...your going to give me a secondary set of Shendu's talismans...an incapacitated chosen one, an incapacitated Santa Claus, AND the idol of the Three Wise Monkeys? Just like that? ...you'll forgive me if I'm not suspicious." Said Daolon Wong Suspiciously...

The stranger groaned, he hated this. He looked over to the unconscious embodiment of holiday cheer and the unconscious little Chinese girl. Thankfully, draining their chi won't kill them...he'd had his fill of killing good people after Mr. Chan...the only reason he went along with that because his 'employer' refused to budge on it. It was the one and only 'kill' he made certain was part of the deal...

Finally, he was able to convince Wong it wasn't a trick...and be forced to watch as Wong's power became the equal of a demon...

The stranger drove the two unconscious people to the nearest refugee camp...the next day would bring nothing but sobbing as Christmas was effectively canceled...

...Antarctica...

 _"Why did I have to bring them here?"_ Thinks the stranger annoyed as he followed his employers bizarre instructions. He threw the Hanafuda cards into the fire...he then brings out all 9 Oni masks and brings them together...freeing them from their confines, and waking Tarakudo's spirit from the Shadow realm. **  
**

The stranger sighed, "Alright...here's a potion that'll make it impossible to turn you all into masks again." He explains...

...Washington D.C...

It was a war zone...the entire planet was filled with fighting as all three factions(four if you counted the enslaved and tormented humanity caught in the middle) battled for supremacy...so naturally his employer wanted to bring ANOTHER player to the game board.

"Stop gawking and give me the power!" Snaps Drago, _"Let me guess...were just going to ignore the fact that you being here is an impossible temporal paradox/plot hole?"_ Thinks the stranger wearily as he gives Drago all the demon Chi items...

...Gravity Falls...

 _"Well...at least he can't escape."_ Thinks the stranger as he Watches the newly freed Bill Cipher as he fails to break free of the weirdness bubble surrounding Gravity Falls...

...?...

"Alright...I've done all you ask, now your part of the deal!" Insists the stranger.

The eldritch abomination known as slenderman(somehow) smirked. **"Indeed...as promised; your wife returned to you."**

Wendy pines suddenly appeared in the room unharmed, "TYRONE!" She shouts happily as she runs over to hug her husband Tyrone Pines. The couple cries, happy to be reunited.

 **"And of course your beautiful, infant twin children; Dipper and Mable will be kept safe."**

He snaps his fingers...but they do not appear. "WHERE ARE THEY?!" Barked both parents.

 **"As promised...they'll be 'kept safe' -Oh, did you think that meant I'd send them back to you?"** He laughs, **"Hardly, have you seen your planet lately? Total death trap! ...You saw to that Tyrone."**

Both parents scream in rage as they try to throw themselves at the monster who had ruined the lives of so many...but with a snap of his finger, they find themselves frozen in mid-air.

 **"Temper, Temper, Temper, Temper. Like I said, their safe...for now. I never said how long I'd keep them safe after all..."**

But the monster claps his hands and makes two boxes appear before him(one red, one black.). **"But enough dire talk! You deserve a reward for all your hard work! And my reward is this: a choice between a blessing** (points to red box) **or a curse** (points to black box). **"Pretty self-explanatory really. But know this, the box you DON'T choose will go to your kids."**

Tyrone glared, "Obviously I pick the curse, you jerk!" He snarled angrily.

Slenderman rubbed his hands together, **"Excellent choice! You've won an all expense free trip to the top of everyone's frak list! This curse will make sure that everyone on the planet will know that YOU are responsible for these hard times!"** He opens the black box and black smoke flies from it and envelops Tyrone.

 **"And as for your kids, a gift...a gift of many, a gift of 'rite of passage'. For the first 12 birthdays of their life, their birthday wish will come true! However, they will shall remain oblivious to this connection- wouldn't want to make things TOO easy after all?"** Opens the red box and out pours a red mist that flies off into the sky... **"We'll enjoy your post-apocalyptic wasteland! Toodles!"** And with that...he was gone...leaving two sobbing parents alone...wondering of the fate of their children...

...Equestria, Canterlot...

"Well...that's unexpected." Says Night Light out loud as he finds two sobbing earth pony new-born's on his door step(one blue and one rainbow) as he was getting his morning paper. Not knowing what else to do, he brings them in to his wife Twilight Velvet, his teenage son Shining armor and his little filly of a daughter Twilight Sparkle...

...…...

 **TO BE CONTINUED?**

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	2. Chapter 2

**WANTED: TYRONE PINES- But who cares?**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...III...

 **ANNOUNCEMENT!**

 **I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

 **SUMMARY:**  
 **On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

 **The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.**

...III...

As the two young foals had no records or ID's the Sparkle family promptly adopted them( **1** ). Fortunately, they had dog tags that designated them as 'Dipper' and 'Mable'. So they at least had a name for them.

Shinning and twilight were especially ecstatic on having new siblings. Mable just seemed eager to play like most foals...Dipper on the other hand-

Twilight giggles as her new- only a day away from being a year old at that point -tried to stand up. "Silly Dipper, you can't stand yet. Your too young." She admonished playfully

This only seemed to make Dipper more determined, with an annoyed grunt he forced himself up, but his underdeveloped legs caused him to stumble. He desperately tried to right himself as he unwillingly trotted forward-

 **CRACK!**

-And slammed head-first into the wall. "DIPPER!" Shouted both Twilight and...Mable?!

Indeed, Shining is greeted by the crazy sigh of his new little sister- who only ever crawled and showed no hurry to do likewise -shouted her first word and flawlessly jumped up and ran with Twilight to comfort their now sobbing sibling. Quickly he recovers and goes to help as well.

...

Dipper couldn't really enjoy his birthday, and not just because he was only one and couldn't really understand what was going on. He was actually fairly bright for his age- which admittedly wasn't really saying much, but he was aware enough to know that he was jealous of the attention Mable was getting for saying her first word and walking...

"Dipper! Dipper! Dipper! Dipper!" She squeaked happily as their parents gushed over her...Dipper just sulked. Twilight gives him an comforting, affectionate nuzzle. "Oh, don't be sad Dipper! You'll get there eventually!" She squeaked happily. Dipper smiled at twilight, he always felt safe and happy when she was around...

When it was time to blow out the candle, Dipper-with what vague awareness he had - wished to do what Mable did -As twilight gives him another cupcake-

"Thanks Twilight!" He said suddenly, stunning everyone. Including Dipper! Suddenly the world seemed so much clearer for him! He could understand things so much better!

No one noticed the invisible 'thing', silently raising Dipper's IQ several notches and giving his legs vigor and strength...they DID notice when Mable's wish to have a giant hamster ball came true...and appeared around her, she squealed in happy delight and began to race it around-

 **CRASH!**

-Right through the good china cabinet.

Everyone forgot about Dipper's sudden ability to talk to chase a now very destructive Mable...they would also forget about his sudden ability to walk as it became clear that Mable was trapped inside the ball...and the ball was seemingly indestructible...

...it would take three days, fifty crowbars, a dozen unicorn specialists and LOTS of fire to get her out...

Slenderman turned to the readers. **"̵͔̥̥̼͔̺̭͙̮̮͖̳͆̀́̔̐͛̈́͘͝͝ͅẀ̴̼̜̼͙̭͖͔͈̦̐̏̊̐̂̅͊͂̕͘͠͠ͅh̵̡̡͓̘̣̰̫̖̾̐͆̍̈́͊̿͂͗́͘a̶̢͙̥̝̖̔͋̋̚t̵̢͈̥͙̱̲͔͎͇͙̙͌́̋̒͂̋́̈́̕͝͝ͅ?̶͙̰̠̫͉̹͕̼̬̺̞̟̲̈́̽̆̉̓̋̀͂̏́ ̸̩͚̄̎̌̋̀̅͆̔̅̚̚I̴̡̢̛͓͇̼̮̳̪̳͑̿ ̷͔̟̠̭̫̤̮̱̭̥͚̺̾̀̅͒̀̾̄̈́̋̑̕͜͜͝ḑ̴͍̲̥̯̦̇͊̽̃̂͛̚͝ȍ̷̖̖̘̭͍̬͕̹͊̈́́̕ň̸̨̨̺̫̱̼̻͒̍͋̽́̏̂̐̈́̋̓͒̔̓ͅ'̴̡͎̳̀̓̓͐͒t̵͉̫͕̺̩͂͛͑͋̈́̽̀̐ ̴̹̭̳̜̼͙̯̠̀̒͛͂͂ļ̸̠̘̥̘̻̹̺̦̥̱͌̿͜ȋ̶͎̥̳̙̟̤͓̍̃̃̒̈́̌ḳ̴͙͉̃͐͆̂̏̕͝͝͝e̴̝̣̩͇̤̘͇̣̍̿̌̎͆̿͒̈̓̐ ̶̧̪͔͓͋̂͋͒̏͛̿͑͗͠Ḿ̶̡̦̟̦̣̝̫̹̫͍͔͉̣̔́́̊́̽͆̇͊͠͝a̶̢̢̢̧̡̧̱͖̳̲̫͔̩͋̐̽b̸̡̭̳͔̫̋͛̈́̂͐̉̒͐̈̒̈̚͠͝͝l̷̯̦͇̟̜̳̎e̴̹̬̮̬̦͎̱̹͐̇͌̽̾͒̓̐͘͜,̸̢̨̘̰̘̖̺͑̍̀̅̓̉̈́̓͛͋͊̚͜ͅ ̷̛̦̥̤̳̞̣̟͔̜̝̈́͂̎̑͒̓̈̈́̒͘̕ͅͅB̶̨̟̩̬̩̋̿̍͑͗̑͐͒̌́̃͜͝í̷̡̢̡̻͔̲̱̫̣̖̝̂͂͂̀̍̀̅̕̕͘͝͠ģ̵̨̧̬͚̉̅̀̈́͛̊͜͝ͅ ̷̛̛̝̗̖͖̺̹̘̏͒̅͊̔̅̊̀͆ṡ̵̨̧̲̬͓̭̱̯̯̣͈̏̀̔͝u̶̡͙͎̙̰̦̠̦̳̘͎͔̪̲͌̒̓̇̔̂̊̚͜͝r̷͖̟̖̺̠͒̆͑̑͗͗̌̈́͋͐͗͠p̵̢̧̗͔̥̮͕̼̥͇͉̳̩̪̥̔̎̿̄r̸̨̙̟̼̱̹̲͠ì̵̧̯̼͕̞͚̠̳͎̱̄̈s̶̢̛̛̙̼̖̩̬̝̘̩̤̻̆͒͐͆̄͗͜ḙ̴̢̪̻̀.̷͔͚̯͙͍̥̩̆̈̓͒͠.̵̨̢̻̥̖̭̫͈̫͑̓̆̾̎̔̓.̷̧̞͈̣̱͚̤̪̻̳̗͔̿̊͑̀̐͐̈͒͋̉͋̅̔͑"̷̧̲̫̠̭̪͂͘͝**

...

The next two years were mostly uneventful-

 **CLANG!**

Inside a Canterlot jail cell the sparkle family glared at the twin foals. "Sowwe" Apologized Mable as an annoyed Twilight treated Dipper's third degree burns. Twilight Velvet sighed, "Well, were not doing that again." She said while tearing apart the 'Sibling Supreme crown.

Hey, I said 'Mostly'-

Annnnnnnnyway, seeing how weirdly intelligent Dipper had suddenly was they immediately put him more or less under Twilight's care...and they loved it! Spending all day and night studying together, making lists, playing with magic...well, that's pretty much it. But that's what you get when you put two intelligent introverts together.

Shining Armor spent more time with Mable...mostly due to how much trouble she got into unsupervised...also the courts demanded it after the 'eat gummy worms through nose contest' fiasco that put fifty people in the ER...

In any case, two more birthdays went by...

On the twins second birthday, Dipper wished for a gift to give Twilight to thank her for all she'd done for him- He would later find Starswirls original journal under his pillow(which he would later give to Twilight on her Birthday...she was then rushed to the hospital for having a 'bliss' heart attack.).

...Of course said pillow was a hotel pillow as their house was currently overflowing with a seemingly never-ending supply of cats that Mable got from her wish of a 'kitty parade'...did we mention they were feral, spit acid and could spontaneously combust at the drop of a hat?

...

"My lady! Were taking heavy casualties!" Shouted a very messed up Guard pony as he watched another of his colleagues go up in flames fighting the cat menace...

"THERE IN THE WALLS! THERE IN THE WALLS!"

Celestia gave the situation a grim look, "That's fifteen blocks taken over...no other option then- Turns to a Wonderbolt -BEGIN SATURATION BOMBING!"

...

On their next Birthday...Dipper wished he and Twilight would always be together...That night Twilight dreamed of a nice, older version of Dipper and an older version of her having wonderful adventures together...she'd have similar dreams like this for several months after...among other things...

This of course was after they saved Mable from her 'I wish my art had more life in them' wish- Or more accurately: they saved her from being eaten by all her drawings that had suddenly come to life...

...

And now came their fourth birthday...

Sadly, due to a scheduling error, their birthday took place on the same day Twilight was to take her entrance exam for Celestia's school for gifted unicorn. But the twins were okay with that, they were more then happy to postpone the party and root for Twilight...also, their parents were seriously considering canceling the party altogether lest the family got attacked 'again'.

Princess Celestia looked on with , having high hopes for this one. Candance spoke well of her, she'd already skipped ahead past college level academics, she had a grand grasp on magic for one as young as her- how she got a hold of Starswirls journal was beyond her -True, she looked like she was struggling with the Dragon Egg test, but every other test had been aced so-

"This is so stupid!" Celestia quirked her ears and looked over to twilight's step-siblings who were sitting nearby. "Even the most powerful, Veteran adult ponies can't hatch an egg, what are they playing at?" Continued Dipper annoyed.

Mable turned to her brother, "Come on Bro-Bro, I'm sure they have their reasons and even if she dose fail, maybe you and her can take this opportunity to make new friends!"

Dipper rolled his eyes, "For the love of- Mable me and Twilight are fine-

"You both spend most of your days huddled up in your room reading books and tinkering with magic...were all getting very concerned-

"Yeah, well you should be more concerned on how Twilight is going to ace this test." Said Dipper as he points as Twilight continues to fruitlessly try to make the egg hatch.

Celestia smiles at this and leans over to reassure the two that everything will be alright for their sibling-

Dipper sighed, "I just wish Celestia could see how great Twilight is." Mable just shakes her head, "And I wish she'd make more friends as amazing as her." Realizing she'd misspoke and forgot to mention Dipper, she's about to correct that-

 **BOOM!**

And then Rainboom hit, now we've all seen how this scene plays out in other universes: Twilight makes the grade, Fluttershy loves the animals, Applejack goes home, Rarity finds gems, etc, etc...

This is not that universe...

Unseen by all Slenderman cracks his knuckles, **"̴͔̩̤͍̪͖̼͝Ţ̸̨̥̻͈̗͓̹̞̘̬̹̃̈́̒̏̿̂́͘í̸͇̞̲̰͍̭̐͐̃̃̏̈́͂͝ͅm̶̰̯̣̖̣̹̮͖̻͇̘̈́͛ę̴̱͔̳̳̺͚͐̅̂ ̶̳͚̘͚̗̦̤͈̹̤͖̟̜̟͓̀́͋͝t̶̮͎͔̠͚͙̦̺̬͐͂̽̌ǫ̵̛̘̹̖̳̠̑̾͋̄͗͌̀̓̐́̽̋́ ̵̻͓̓̐͘p̴͇̮̺̯̱̻͉̗̪͒̈́̀̈a̸͔͉̯̦̲̅ͅr̶͎̥͉͍̭̰̒̃̑̋͛̄͌̓̕t̵̤͗͒̉̽͆̚ẏ̴̨̧͇̮̘̟̼̗͔̟͙͉͎͗́͐̐͜͝!̴̛̹̞̞̣̘͈̀̏̍͑̌͂̓̄̈́̽͗̚͝"̶̢̼͓͚͉̱̞͍͐̃̓̅**

First he zaps Twilight just as her power surge turns her parents to plants and grows the baby dragon to titan size!

 **"̴̩͚͇̥̰͕̪̲̣̲̼̙͚͒͗̔̔̽́̇̂ͅW̷͐́̑́͂̅̀͜ḁ̶̿̈̀̐̔͌͆̄̓͛͆̕͠ń̶̰͖̺͆̿̀̔̊̆͗͋̏̈́̌ẗ̸͓̯̝͇̹̦̗͍̬̻̟́͑͝ ̵̧̝͚̺͍̜͇̺̪̝̍͌͊̾͂̇C̴̡̢͍͉͇͙̞͍̯̪̻̰͚̯͒̃̆͆e̷̝̥͍̣̘͙͖͖̬̪̋́͑͝ļ̶̩̰͕̝͙͇͌̄̂̇̅͜͠è̵̲͝s̷̛̹̟̱͕̝̙͇͍̙̼͕̓͗͊͒̈́̀̋̇͛͂͘ţ̴̰͉̘̜̱͌̏i̶̧͌͂̋̀͗̆̎̆̒͗̊̽̅͗̕à̸̲̽̓̆͌͗̔̃͐̊́̀͋̓͂ ̴̫̱̥͓̖̓̕t̶̪͓͛̀͊͝o̷̬̯̙̦̟̜̾͂̐̽̂̋̾̌͝ͅ ̶̔͋̊̀̿́͛̒̽̓̓̀̌̓̚͜ś̸̢̢̨̡͎͕̱̬̗͚̮̜͈̅è̷͇̻̼̝͕̼̤͂́̀̃͑̽͜ę̷̮̩͔̖̣̊̿̀͑ͅ ̷̣͕͍̬͔̫͍͕̈́̏̌̀̌̅̓̓̐̃̈́̀̒̇̚h̴̭̩́́͗̎̅̑̏̅͑̆̆̀̾̀ȏ̷̩̿͘w̵̡̘̣̗͙͉̫̝͓̫̳̑̽̀͌̂́̚͜͝ ̸̯̦͓̩͍̮̲̟̠̭̳̓̂̀̈́̃̋̾͂͘͜͜ͅͅ'̵͖͎̥͊̏͑̆̀̏͗̀͋͗̉͌̕g̷̛̹̓̊̓͒̅̎̐̒̿̓͆̕̚ṟ̶̗͉̭͖͍̻̬̼͈̦͙̉̆̅͂̕͜ͅė̷̢̨̛̥̞̩̭͎͈̙̘͇̃̃͌͗͑̈́̂̇̑̕a̶̛̼̯͕̱̠̞̞͑̂͑̿́̾͐́́̈́̒̀́t̶̡̬̎͗͋̔͂̆͐̈͒̈́͋͛́̅'̷̨̠̼̖͕̲̣̣̥͎̙̝̫̍̀̐̽͜ͅ ̵̠͉͎̼̻̖̯̇̈́͂̌̇͌͝ͅͅş̴̨̘̫͖̏̀͜ḥ̷̬̠͓̲̍̔͌́̈́͊͊e̶͎̯̖̯͐ ̴̘͕̝̣̳͖̝͍̭̗̜̼͚̼͍̎̂̈́̋̅i̸̡̢͉͙̭̲̻̥͂̀͛̇͆̂̍̆̏͊s̸̡̙̪͉͕̥̝̯͓̼͉̬̯̞̗̽͊̀?̴̨̘̟͍̻̞̥̫͙͖͕͆̂͗͆̀̀̓̐͜͝ ̶͚̮̔̌Ĉ̴̞͚̼͙̱̦̙͉͎͚͕̹̟̦̽̈́̑̏͗̈́̃̄̇͋̋͜ó̴̺̻̗̩͎̰́̆̎͋́̚͘͝͝͠͝n̷̛͚͖̥̲͔̬̬̲̤̥̯̘͂́͊̀͋̀͒̈͐͌͗͜͝ͅs̵̲̙̻͈̖̝̰̺̃̈́̓̓́̉̅͒̽̾͑̚͘͝i̵͍̹͉͑̾̉̾͌͑̍̇͝͝d̶̨̝̼̟͉͚̙͎͔̗̱͆̌̉̍ẽ̵̛̱͉̣͖̝̩̺̤̰͔̬̆̈́́̔̃̌̽̆̀̕͘̚r̴̼̣̗̽̔̌͌̿͛͛ ̵̧̪̲͓̥͎͈̼̤̭̻͇̙̀̒͊͐̅̾̒͒́̕͜͠ï̸̧̘̩̍̈̀̚t̸̡̯̬̼͕̤̖̳̟͔͑̊̈́ ̶̢̖̻̟̪̙̻͕͎̗̙̤͑d̸̢̢̛̮̥͙̲̼͍͎͈̱͇̬̓͆̇̈o̴̹͖̓͋́ṅ̸̢̢̛̙̙̪̘̞̘̜̤̈̓͒͛̋̀́̆͛͠ĕ̵̟̻̰͕̹̟̠̙̼̘̻̠̌͌̑͛͐́̈́̉͘͝͝!̸̢̢̡͔̩͎͇͔̮̭͖̯͍͌̋̌"̸̛̱̆͐͂́́͂̓̀̽͛̂̚͝**

Celestia paled as she felt a darkness, the type of which she had only ever felt when-

"Oh, no." She moaned, where Twilight had stood now stood a sleeker, darker, older Alicorn version of herself.

She sneers at the mare of the sun, "Terribly sorry, your majesty. I'll have to decline a place at your school, a MUCH better position is about to open up-

 **ZAP!**

Before Celestia can even BLINK, she's been turned to stone...and her magic is ripped from her body. Twilight smirks as the power of the sun flows through her... "Ruler of Equestria...eh, it'll do for now..."

She turns to the still rampaging dragon, "You obey me now dragon!" She shouts as she casts an enthrallment spell on him, the 50-ft dragon quickly bows in submission to his new mistress...

Shining had already grabbed the two sobbing twins and ran like there was no tomorrow...Mable was panicking and Dipper struggled the wholw way, pleading that they needed to go back and rescue Twilight!

Still unseen by all, Slenderman laughs at the sight of a family falling to pieces.

 **"̸̢̬͍̘̏́̐Á̶̺̬̙͖̠̣̠̖̥͝͝n̸̡̡̞̮͍̝̼͕͗̎̈́̌̒ď̷̺̥̼̦̩̅͂̀̑̀̉̓͛̔ ̷̘̞̪̫͇͓̞̓̃̔͆̓̍̚͘ͅn̵̢̡̳̠̩̞̱̼̳̰̬̓͗̈́̐̋͊̚͝͠͠ǒ̷̫͖͕̘͑̂̎͗͊̅̚w̵̞̗̗͋͂͒͌͊̐̓̈́̿ ̵̨̨̛̛̘̳̪͈̫̀̑̌̄͑̔̒̎̈́̽̐̍͋ͅf̶̢̢̪̤͙̬̯̬̥͚̖̰͙̗͉̏́̿͑͑̔͌̈͒͐̿̚͝͝͝ȯ̴̩̜̝̭̠̻̃̃̀́͛͊̊̈̀ř̶͈͑͌͒̀́͑͗̍͒̚ ̴̧̛̙̟̙̱͖̬̻̪͍̬̻̳͔̾̽̾͛̽͆͑͝͠͝M̶̧͉͍̟͙̻̱̠̰͓̻̼̮͆̓͒̚͜ͅą̴̡̞̮͈͈̲͈̜͙̊̿̏́̑͝b̴̪̝̀̅͂̏̽̓ļ̷̲͎̭̜͓̭͕̯̮̈́͐̈́͛̎̏̊̒͒̕͘͝ȩ̶͙̯̞͕̻̝̩͙͕̀͒̓̓̈̎̈'̴͚̯̱͉̪̰̬̟̹̺̞͖̗̗́̎͂̒͒̍͘s̴̨̨̛̮̠̹̪̼̮̹̄̒̌̎̽̃̽̅̆͠͝͠ͅ ̴̛͔̞̗̪͚̊͠ŵ̷̦̣̤͕̖̪̗͎̮̮͛̌́̓́̕ȋ̸̡̲̺̝̱̖̖̯͉̎͋s̷̨̼̼̲̘̻̺̦̥̟̙̑͆̈̈̎̇̀̿̕͜h̷̢̠͚̲̙̦̱̀́̄̊̌̿̈́̾͛̈́̈́̚͜:̵̧̡̛̰̖̤̙̟̫͖̠̬̮̥̽̒̒̏̑̔̚͝ ̶̹͙͍̜̤̙̈́̾̐̇̉̔͝͝W̴̖͈̝̬̽̆̀̓́̓͋͊͐̚͠ǎ̵̧̡͚̝͓̗̥̝̺̤͚̖̪̗̅͆̈́͛̌̕n̵͎̤̩̬̮̯̠̘͉̠̻̙̏̀̋̍̍̏̉͌͘͝ͅt̸̛̟̭̫̻͇̦̜̪̲͚͉̮͊͛͋̚ͅͅ ̴͈̰͐̓̈́͆̂͆͒̑̑͘͘T̵͎͎͛̒͗̾͆ẘ̶̡̛̯͔͔͎̯̰̺̩̝̅̈́̏͒͛̅̏͐̀̒̕͘͜͠i̴͇͓͔̖̦̦̖̰̍͒̾̓̈́͝͠l̵͇͔̪͙͎̃̓͒i̵̛̹̰̅̔̿͒̃̿͑͑͋̆͒͆͜͝͝ǵ̴͔̹̩͎̤̿͗̑̚͝h̶̨̲̯̭̺̠̓̈t̵͈̀͋̀̀̀̓̄̒͋͝ ̵̡̛̞̓̎̄̐́̾̾̇̆͆ť̷͈̥͚̦̥̯̟̼͕̩̽͌͛͂o̴̢̨̭͉̦͙̤͖̱͚͎͓͒̇̈́̏̅̈́̑̎̑̄̈́̃̽͝ ̴͔̙͚̤̖̠̓̾̉̉͗̈́́̇͐̊͘͘M̸̛̝͎͇̳̭̟̭̖͇̖̽̇̿͗͊̌́͜͠͝ͅA̶̛͈̠̠̱̳̬̤̘̣͙̿̊̐̌̾̉̄̂̎̈́̚͠͝ͅḴ̵͑̿̍̄̾̏Ȇ̸̻̳̣̤̮͈̅̂͊͑̽̓͝͠ ̵͉͊̀͛̽̿̑̿̃̄̈̄̕m̸̧̳̬̙̼͙̹͍̤͎͚̘͔͗́̄͛́͌͌͘͝͝͠ǫ̵̭͇͍̬̭̞̟̹̯̍̃̀̈́̕͜͠r̷̟̊͐̑̈́̊̓̾̃̚̕è̶̡͙̻͉̱̺̘̯̮̳̣̱̭̾͛̍̈̿̅ ̴̨̹͖̳̮̻̦̫͒̊͘f̶̧̧̛͈̙̬̘̜̪̗͕͓͚̽́̋̄̍̃ŕ̶̨̗̒̄͆̀̓̐̃̇̽̉̓͝͝i̵̜̱͓͚̹͉͒̈̀̔́̊̿̕͜e̷͉͗̊̇͗̏͗̔̕͘n̷̡̛̦̦̭̝͎̰̱̟͎̗̭̮̗͖̑̐̒̍̒͌̽͌̓̕̚d̶͕͖̰͍̟̰̠̲̓s̵̳͙͛͆̓͗̀̈́̎̈̕ ̶̝͖̯̘̙̥̆̈̂̓̏̂͐́̒͘à̸̻̻̲̙̞̖̑̀̏̎̌́̾̇͘͘͝ś̶̤̞͍̮̩͚̈ ̸̨̘̣̱̠̘̘͔̘̽̆̓̈́̊͝ͅ'̷̦͗̎̽̿̏̐̀̽͊́͐̕a̷̧͔̙̾͒̄͆̉͠ẘ̶̤̩͓͚̬̗͖̱͍̞̪̘͚̑̓̈́̆͜͝ȇ̴̛͎̓͋̆̂͛̊̏͋͛̎̋͝ͅͅs̸̡͖̲̾̈̿̽͌̂̃̄̀o̴̼̹̬̳̙̣͕̳̹̟͚͕̬͋̄̐̃͐͑̆̊ͅm̴͖̰̮̩͈̮̲̖̐̇̃é̴͕͍̟̜͓͔̩̪̟̳͔̞̜͓̅̿̄̀̓̍̋̅̓'̴̫̤͎̮̘̝̯̼͙̽̒ ̷̻̖̳͕͂̋̊͂ā̷̧͓͇̲͉̤͎̟̹̟͔͖͖̈́̋̾̅͛̋̈́͘͠ͅͅș̷̪͇̘̜͚͉̰̅̑̄͛̓̈̔̃͊̅̚͝͝ͅ ̵͚̮̻̼̈́̈̈́̈́̚͜͠h̴̨̡̤͓̝̺̻̬̗̥̺̱̭̼̤̊̐̉̑́́͂̍̑̒̏̐̍̑ě̵̢̢̛̫͉̤̼͎̖̩͚̖̙͈̿̀̀̂͜͝͠ṛ̶̢̡͈͎̞̞̖͇̪͈͉͔̔́́̆ͅ?̸̪͚͕̺̺̟̤̻̟̖̗̉̐̌̋̇̕͠͠ͅ ̴̥̼̯̬͔͖̣̼̮͍͈̀́̅͌̀̎͆̌̅͑̑͠T̶̨̡̛̛̗̘̖̳̼̻̺̜̞͓͑̊̀͑͑͌͊̔̄̐͜͝ͅȟ̶̘̭̲̙̳̝̈͒͒̔̊́̅̾́̚̕à̸̡̭̼͖̲̥̦͎̦̩̫̼̟̙̽̒̿͗͘͘͝͝͝t̴̺̩̯̜̳͓͒ ̵̡͇̮̥̦͚̲̙̋̎̎͊Ì̴̡̡̛̩̿̋̾̆̊͠ ̴͉̱̠̣̻̦͇͔̘̈́̆͗̀̍̿͛̍̃̓̕͝c̷̡̨̩̜͚̝͇̙͓̯̻͑̍̇̆͊͜͝͠ạ̴̤͉̥͔̟̝̹͚͙͙̑̃̐̈́͊̑̌͛̅̃͆͘̚͝͝n̸̛̬͖̱̪͍̺̝̂̆̃́̏̊̿̕̕͝ ̴̨̺̘͚̥͐͒͐͜ḑ̸̛̮̖̮͚̺̺͇͙͚̠̿͒̂͌͒̈́̊̇̓̚ǫ̷͍̥̱͓̭̠̽̐͛̅̍͆́̕͘!̶̮͕̼͖͂̿"̶̢̢̧̜̮̘͎̗̺̻̩͉̩̿̉͂͒̋͛͠**

He zaps another bolt at the darkness within Twilight, causing it to spread across Equesteria in five trails of smoke...their targets already locked...

...

A now much older Alicorn Applejack, wearing a bussinespony ensemble glares at her aunt and uncle orange...both tied up and gagged. "Now yah'll just agree to this merger and the need for a hostile takeover will be rendered unnecessary." Said the dark orange pony with a wicked smirk...

...

All of Cloudsdale screamed as it was blown to bits by yet another Rainboom, "HA! HA! YOU SUCKERS WISH YOU WERE ME RIGHT NOW!" A now much older and darker Alicorn Rainbow Dash was flying around non-stop, creating Rainboom after Rainboom. Bragging all the while, completely uncaring of the havoc that she was wreaking all across her nation...

...

The ponies of Ponyville whimperd as one by one they were turned into living Mannequins by a now Alicorn Rarity wearing an iron mask and cape. She levitates her teacher into the air, "very nice? VERY NICE!? HOW CAN YOU BE OKAY WITH 'VERY NICE'!?" She screams as she shakes the terrified pony like a ragdoll! "Such mediocrity will no longer be tolerated! Clearly you all need me to keep you all fabulous!"

The ponies could only watch helpless and frozen as Rarity dresses them up while humming happily...

...

An alicorn Fluttershy smiles as the animals, the very forest itself bowed to her! "For too long nature has been dominated by the pony! But no more! TONIGHT WE TAKE BACK WHAT'S RIGHTFULLY OUR'S!"

She grins evilly, "Starting with YOU lot." Hoops, Dumb-Bell, and Score sweat under her preadtor gaze as they are held down by grizzly bears.

Dumb-Bell sobs, "Were sorry! Please don't-

 **ZAP!**

Three bullies writhed in agony as they slowly turned into trees...their pain clearly music to Fluttershy's ears... "Three down...Equestria to go!" She cackles...

...

Maud pie looked around in fear, pies were raining from the sky, buffalos were dancing ballet, cotton candy clouds rained chocolate and her family were acting like dogs!

...Oh, and her sister had turned into a demented Alicorn clown!

"Pinkie Pie! What are you doing? Stop this! You-

And just like that...she had a razor blade in her mouth, "Let's put a smile on that face sis!" Cackled a demented Pinkie Pie...

...

As Canterlot was burned down by Spikezilla...a strange Statue in the royal Garden began to crack...

…III...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **1: in accordance with the 'destiny says so' accord act of 5XX A.L.(After Luna), if original parents can't be found, all foals become the legal property of the pony who's doorstep they were founded on...these accords were mostly vetoed across Equestria due to how stupid and insane they were(the one involving virgin sacrifices being a prime example), but some of the less extreme variants do exist in some corners of the country, western Canterlot being one of them. But the Sparkles thought them adorable, so they went with it. So that's fine**

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Go to my P,a,t,r,e,o,n account!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


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